a_better_man | Abraxas Inbox

Why would I do that? You made your choices and now you'll live with the consequences of those poor choices. That's on your shoulders.

No, I'm curious about your methods. Is it some sort of their magic that you use to be able to dissemble so eloquently as to fool even someone as brilliant as Jesper. I'm rather impressed actually. I've entirely lost any ability to manage to truly hide and cover up my intents to those I love and yet I suspect one day it might be valuable.

[ Okay so he's entirely discussing that and being an utter dick about it. ]

I don't know what Jesper told you. The choice was between delaying something wanted badly and potentially accidentally killing people. Because I can't control my magic and the person who can is here.

A fact I have been constantly reminded of lately.

He's the one who decided there was an ultimatum. Not me. He's the one who decided we were done. Not me.

And somehow in a world made of magic this one person in all these lands is the only one? To control YOUR magic? I've seen out of control Grisha and the control does not come from without.

Did he ever mention my pet project since the days I arrived here, going on nearly a year now?
I have dozens of maps hidden in my room. Plans of every egress into that land you're in, every half way passable trail out. Every building we could get details of, one detailed map after another with only one single goal in mind. Helping you and others to get your freedom.
A foolish waste of time I suppose. If you think you need others to give you control instead of seizing control of your own life.

As the only two of us I've ever met with abilities that work the same as mine are here? Yes. I'm learning to control it. From those people. But it keeps getting stronger faster than I can keep up. Thanks to those two Summoned I mentioned, I've only caused some minor accidents and not any real harm.

I don't know what you expect to get out of this conversation. Do you think someone I don't even know yelling at me over mind writing is going to have some profound effect on me?

As if you're the first person to ever have abilities here they've never dealt with. Be thankful this talk is not in person.

Oh no. This has very little to do with you.

This is me getting out part of my anger before I have to sit at his side and assure him its okay and to try and give you another chance because not doing that is hurting him more than I really want to hurt you.

Considering I just set my bedding on fire with an unkind thought, I think we're both thankful this isn't happening in person.

If you want someone to be angry at, be angry at the leaders who say because we live in different places we have to stay separate. I didn't want to end things. My staying in Thorne had nothing to do with us, other than that I'd rather hurt him a little by putting off our plans than risk REALLY hurting him.

I was in a shit position. He's the one who said it meant I don't love him. And he KNOWs

He knows why that was a shit thing to say to me.

I have more than enough anger to go around.

You can't see why he feels that way? After spending months just trying to find a way to get what they handed you both? After where he was left trying to find us all?

He knows why I can't leave yet. And he should damn well know how I feel about him, because he knows damn well I DON'T feel that way.

Not usually. He's the only one.

And you can't see why knowing that he isn't feeling the way he is?

I knew he had a taste for men with less sense than most but sometimes even I'm still surprised sometimes.

[ It was rude, but perhaps less so given he is one of those men and he knows it. ]

Abraxas Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject